butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
