I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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