it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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