1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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