Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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