Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
