He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
