Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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