i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
