hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
