Me too!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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