I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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