I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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