I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up under a house in Key West
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
