i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
