She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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