my phone needs a breathalizer
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
