I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
