how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
