Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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