dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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