hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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