I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
