You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think im going to throw up on grandma
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
