U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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