we're blogging at a bar
I just saw a hot homeless man
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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