My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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