and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
