going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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