you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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