And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
