thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
