do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
