I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
