It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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