Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im drinking this country out of the recession.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I licked your asshole in confidence.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
