we're chasing vodka with high fives
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
