Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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