that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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