im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That accounts for only three of the penises
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Where are you guys?
Drunk
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
