she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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