operation have a gay friend backfired
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
