There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
