You really coming over, don't trick.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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