I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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