you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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