She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
