I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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