Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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