He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
