I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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