I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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