sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
