I want to make a zoo with you.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
