A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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