So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
