New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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