she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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