I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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