ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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