Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
