Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
