I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh god it's open bar.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
