While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize