We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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