Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
