Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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