She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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